Set in Ireland, Colm Tóibín’s book details the life of Nora Webster after the death of her husband Matthew, a well-known and universally liked secondary school teacher. After years of being the "homemaker part of” a couple, Nora suddenly is thrust into an independence she’s never known or even sought. While still in mourning she finds herself head of household, responsible for all decisions for herself, and their four children. Her low self-confidence is almost crippling at first, but she realizes that immobility is not an option.
There are plenty of people willing to give her advice about her future, finances, the children’s education, the house, the car, getting a job, and multiple other issues. But she internally recoils when advice steps over the line to people telling her what to do, though she is careful to thank her friends and family for their helpful insights. Nora recognizes these topics are for her decisions, not theirs. But she doesn’t know how, nearly every decision in her adult life has been a joint one, made in discussion with Matthew, with the deference always going to him. That discussion is no longer there, and deference is not an option.
She meets all these challenges, often reluctantly, aware that family, friends, in fact everyone in their small town is scoring her. Her personal life, including her relationship with her children, changes over the first years. She will second guess every move, and feel guilty about any changes, until she realizes that changing is about growing, not repudiating.
None of the issues she will face are unique to Nora, they are faced by widows, and even widowers, everywhere. The sudden discovery that one is independent is relevant and similar to the end of any long-term relationship, where one has always been perceived as part of a couple, and then suddenly is a single.
Recommendation: Yes, it is an excellent read.
